lightouch education

The importance of parents taking time from themselves without their children

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Before taking up this role, parents are individual beings with desires, dreams and needs. In addition to fulfilling the role of caregivers, educators, friends of their children, they also need time without their children to be with themselves, especially to live the relationship of husband and wife. If this time is waived, the relationship between the parents weakens, consequently making the relationship at home more fragile, more impatient, more stressful and less loving in everyday exchanges.

Setting aside time for yourself, without kids, will only strengthen the connection between the couple, the children and make the family even stronger. Everyone wins.

How is your relationship with your partner at home? Are you giving time to get along without your kids?

How’s your listening?

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Have you ever stopped to observe the way you listen? It can be either listening to yourself, your child or your partner? And how are you heard by others?

When we try to listen, we find it extremely difficult as we are always projecting our opinions and ideas. When these factors dominate, we hardly hear what the other is saying to us.

In the book “You’re not listening: what you’re missing and why it matters” the author of the book Kate Murphy says that her research has led to the conclusion that “Listening goes beyond simply hearing what people say. It also involves paying attention to how they say it and what they do while they are saying it, in what context, and how what they say resonates within you.” It continues: “Good listeners ask good questions. One of the most valuable lessons I learned as a journalist is that anyone can be interesting if you ask the right questions. That is, if you ask really curious questions that do not have the hidden agenda to correct, save, advise, convince or correct.”

Active listening is the way we work our listening to enhance the way we act with more awareness using the maximum of our emotional intelligence. Do you believe that this is a skill that needs to be developed by many of us these days?

Source: NY Times

What can we learn from the obvious? Affective communication in Emotional Intelligence?

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Communication is not obvious. When we are together, either digitally or in person, we are naturally creating a body of affection between those who speak and those who listen.

This interaction can be very powerful to those whom are listening or speaking. We talk about our own place in the world, because our repertoires are different.

When we are aware of all this and when we practice our hearing, we convert a normal dialogue into a rich conversation.

Have you heard that there are two types of relationships? One that is a “tennis game” and another that is a “paddleball game”?

In the tennis game, you use all your ability so that the other side receives the ball in the worst possible way. The relationships in the tennis game are focused on the other’s mistake and not on the quest to raise the level of the exchange. In turn, in the paddleball game, you make sure that the other receives the ball in the best possible way. Here, relationships are focused on resolving and continuing the level of the exchange.

This game analogy is very powerful as it illustrates how we can create a more affectionate type of communication and it enables one to understanding that affective communication is not something obvious.

How do you take care of conflict in your relationships to generate learning?

Children and emotions: How to teach children about the importance of expressing their feelings?

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Expressing feelings can often be difficult for us adults, imagine teaching them to children? The best way for children to learn about emotions is to talk about them. So here are some tips on how to help you with this type of conversation.

Teaching about feelings through cartoon characters and movies:

Discuss how the various characters from cartoons, books and movies might be feeling. Pause to ask, “How do you think he feels now?”

Create opportunities to talk about feelings:

Every day, ask your child, “How are you today?” Show them that it’s okay to feel what they feel. You can help your child acknowledge feelings by sharing how you are feeling. Say, “I feel sad that you are not obeying me when I speak to you.”

Practice what you want to teach your child:

If you ask your child to use words to express their feelings while he is angry, but he testifies that you yell to express yours, your words will not be effective. Now, if you instead of shouting, indicate that you are angry and take a deep breath, your child will learn to recognize the skills you use when you are upset.

How has this daily practice been with your child?

How excess of information in the digital age can impact our E.I.

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According to Erick Schimit, former CEO of Google, “Every two days we generate a volume of data equivalent to what we created from the beginning of civilization until 2003”.

If we were already receiving a huge amount of information daily before the pandemic, imagine now! Work, studies, shopping, entertainment, “lives” after “lives”… It all comes down to the digital world. But this can have a negative impact of us.

According to research, depression has grown 18% in ten years. By this year, 2020, this will be the most disabling disease on the planet, according to the World Health Organization (WHO). In times of pandemic, WHO predicts an increase in cases of mental health, due to issues related to stress, anxiety and social distancing.

Therefore, it has become more important than ever to take care of your emotional intelligence by selecting the amount and quality of information you choose to receive. Otherwise, you generate more anxiety and stress. Selecting positive content will definitely have a huge impact on your thoughts and mindset.

Invest your presence and attention in what really matters to you right now. And think about this: How have you been feeling with the information you have chosen to consume? Is it worth thinking about? Is it adding value to you? 🙂

The importance and power of naming emotions

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Emotions are intense. They can strenghten or weaken us if we don’t understand the power they have. The truth is that we cannot change what we do not perceive. Denying or avoiding emotions will not make feelings disappear, on the contrary, they will outgrow and consume all of our vital energy.

Children do not always have the vocabulary of emotions. In schools they aren’t usually taught and at home if us, parents, don’t understand the importance of it, will teach them either. Science explains that naming emotions initiates a process of self-knowledge and understanding about what a person is feeling, and the is the first step towards developing our social and emotional intelligence.

When someone asks, “How are you?”, we often answer if we are fine or not. Being good or not being well, are not emotions, they are moods. So with this, we see that defining emotions is not only a problem for children, but also for us adults.

If we understand emotions as a “moving energy” that always seeks to be expressed in some way, we understand how naming them gives us the opportunity to take a step forward. Only then, we are able to welcome what we are feeling and make conscious choices about how we are going to react to it.

What are emotions?

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The word “emotion” comes from the Latin emovere, which means “energy in motion” (e = energy and movere = movement). All emotion, even the ones seen as a bad feeling, exists to make us move, that is, move on and change what is out of balance.

Have you ever stopped to think that in our society it is more common to show our happiness rather than our sadness ? When a feeling of sadness comes, we tend to avoid and hide it from ourselves, as if it were wrong to feel that way. We avoid talking about it.

Girls are predisposed to express their emotions more often because they belong to a more “sensitive”, “emotional” gender. Boys grow up without knowing what emotions are, judging what they feel only as bad feelings, as they are educated to always be strong. No wonder we hear the expression “boys don’t cry”. –

The truth is that emotions, whether good or bad, must always be expressed. “When we don’t let our emotions flow, it’s as if we are filling ourselves with cement. We are so filled with sadness, anger, guilt, fear and shame that there is no room for anything else. The heavier we get, the lower our vibrational level becomes – the connection with others, with life and joy. Dealing better with all the emotions within us, the lighter we become, and that reflects in the ability to attract more abundance, health, love and depth into our lives.” –

Excerpt from the book “The identity of the soul” by author Panache Desai. In this book all emotions talk to you. The dialogue is worthwhile.

Image source: freepik

What is social distance teaching us about relationships?

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Social isolation made us stop to rethink our relationships. In this time when all relationships in life have changed, whether it’s work, with children, family, friends, we understand how important the relationship with others is in order for us to construct, deconstruct and reconstruct ourselves. This relationship of teaching and learning, of exchanging experiences. These relationships become the fuel of life. That’s why we have such a need to share. In the film “Into the Wild” the great lesson transmitted is that happiness is only real when shared. Would you agree with that too?

Since the way we relate to others will not be the same anytime soon, this is a good time to take a closer look into the relationship with ourselves. This way, we begin to understand how the universe of others work. Because the relation you have with yourself, usually reflects your relation with the whole. And how is that relationship with yourself? Has it been with self-care, self-love, self-responsibility? Or has it been filled with guilt, fear, victimization and sadness?

As we saw on a previous post, our emotions can become feelings, when we keep thinking about them and let them absorb. So, are we going to start noticing our emotions and what they are causing us? When we understand that emotions matter, then we will be able to live a healthier, and more respectful relationship with, not only ourselves, but others too.

The Wheel of Peace

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Change places or change THE place?

The Wheel of Peace, created by Pierre Weil, is the tool we use to improve ourselves, each other and the Whole. It is part of the essence of Lightouch.

When we are in balance with ourselves, with nature, and with society, that is the moment we find the Art of Living in Peace.

We believe that everything is interconnected, and what exists today is a false illusion of separativeness. We separate the relations of the self, with the other and with the whole. This separation only brought imbalance and destruction to humanity. Our actions impact the microorganism (us and our nature) and the macro-organism (nature and society). We are now being invited to slow down, to live in the present. It turns out that now, we cannot change places, but we can change the place and how we relate to it. How are we building this place? How are we understanding the message that nature is giving us right now? How is the relationship with myself? Care, love and forgiveness? Or guilt, fear and sadness? How am I relating to the others? “The man is made of material (body), life (emotions) and mind (information). These components are inseparable from everything in the universe. “

We wish you have the opportunity to experience peace in your body, mind, heart and spirit. Only then, you will be able to transform the place you are in.

Source: 
Quote from the book “The art of living in peace” author Pierre Weil.