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Nowadays, many kids spend more time playing on devices than they do playing outside.  It is natural for parents to wonder how this could be affecting their child.  Is this bad for my child’s growth?  Is it harming their mental health?  Are they going to become addicted?  These are all completely normal and common questions to have!  This post will take you through some of the most common myths about kids and video games, and help to debunk them one by one.

Myth #1:  Video games are all the same.  

This is not so!  Video games come in all shapes and sizes, and not all video games are educational.  This is an important distinction to make!  Educational video games are specially designed to help the player learn and build skills in a certain area, such as in reading, math, history, or in the case of Lightouch—social emotional skills!  Touli’s World is an educational video game that teaches children (and parents) about Emotional Intelligence.  Educational games can take many forms—mobile and tablet games, laptop games, console games, and immersive or partially immersive virtual reality.  And they are all meant to make learning more fun and engaging.  However, it is important to know that not all educational games are created equally.  Some are better quality than others, and this has to do with how well the game is designed for children’s learning.

Myth #2:  Video games cause people to become violent.  

This is probably one of the most common myths about video games, and hotly debated by parents.  Not all video games are violent, but for the ones that are (think Call of Duty or Fortnite) it makes sense that this is a concern.  And yet, many studies over the years have struggled to find evidence for a connection between playing video games and aggressive behavior.  

In a study done in 2017, participants aged 18-45 years old were asked to play a violent game (Grand Theft Auto), a non-violent game (Sims 3), or no game at all every day for two months.  They measured changes in aggressive behavior, sexist attitudes, and mental health issues.  The researchers found that there were no significant negative effects in any of these areas after two months of playing video games every day.

Another similar study published in 2019, over 1,000 adolescents and their guardians were interviewed about their video game habits and there was no connection found between playing video games and the teenagers being more aggressive or less social.  

These two studies can’t provide all the answers, but they do represent an overall pattern emerging from video game literature—that video games do not have a meaningful impact on violent behavior. 

Myth #3:  Video games are very addictive and damaging to mental health.

Actually, video games have been shown to relieve stress and improve mental health in players.  In a study done by University of Saskatchewan, they found many cognitive benefits that came from video games, especially when players were working towards a shared goal and were able to socialize with each other.  They found lower stress levels stemming from the psychological escape that games provided.  

This has never been more relevant for today, as we find ourselves living in the context of a pandemic.  Kids all over the world are not able to see or play with their friends like they used to because we are supposed to keep our distance from each other.  No one knows how long it will take for us to be worry-free again–the future is uncertain.  Video games allow players to detach from the current reality, and let them feel some control over another environment—whether it be through building an island with friends, or defeating a dragon to progress to the next level.  The effects of this are meaningful–lower stress, the ability to relax, and a feeling of mastery.  This is huge for building children’s self-esteem and self-motivation.  To see tangible results of their efforts helps them to stay motivated towards a challenging task and lets them know that they are capable of succeeding at something difficult. 

Of course, it is important to have a healthy balance in life, and this includes how much we play video games.  Parents should definitely set limits for game time to help children stay in control of their gaming.  Because, yes, video game addiction does exist.  However, statistics show it is the minority of cases.  As long as video games are not taking up all your child’s time by replacing things that are good for them such as exercise, sleeping, being outside, and talking with family, you don’t need to be worried.    

Myth #4:  Gaming is only for loners who don’t want to socialize. 

This is far from the truth!  Video games can actually provide players with more opportunities to socialize, and this is especially useful for kids who do not like to have conversations over Zoom (which is likely to be most of them)!  Many kids prefer to communicate through playing, which is not possible in a lockdown situation.  Schools normally provide the opportunities for kids to socialize, but school openings and closures are unstable.  Many parents are working from home and are not able to tend to their child’s every social need.  This is where video games come in!  Multiplayer video games that take place over the internet (like Among Us, Animal Crossing, Minecraft, Roblox, the list is endless!) can fulfill this need for kids to be able to communicate and play with each other without being physically together.  This helps to lessen boredom and loneliness during quarantine time.  And most often, they are working together towards a common goal within the game, which helps them to feel a sense of community even when they can’t be with others. 

Also, Touli’s World is an educational video game for developing emotional intelligence in children, and a big component of that is social skills!  Now, your child can literally learn about social skills through playing a video game—how cool is that? 

Myth #5:  Playing video games is a waste of valuable time that could be spent learning or doing some other productive activity.  

Like we said before, video games can be educational.  They can be used to learn new skills, such as skills involved in emotional intelligence in our beloved Touli’s World.  But, even if a game is not labeled “educational”, many video games still provide opportunities for children to socialize, de-stress, keep their mind active, and even build their creativity and imagination.  If you take the time to browse the different kinds of games out there, you’ll get an idea of just how much imagination has gone into creating them to make engaging experiences for your child.  For example, in Minecraft, players can play in “survival mode” and have complete freedom to find different natural resources in their environment to build a shelter and craft items in order to protect themselves from monsters in the wilderness.  This enhances creativity, problem-solving, self-direction, and collaboration skills (if they choose the multiplayer option!)

Myth #6:  Only boys like to play video games. 

This is just not true.  According to the Interactive and Gaming Network (IGEA), 47% of video game players are female, and people of all ages like to play video games.  By looking at the vast array of the types of games out there, it is safe to say that there is probably a game to suit every preference!  

ADDED BONUS:  Playing video games as a family could also be a fun way to spend time together.

Written By: Serena So

References:

CBC Radio. (2020, Nov 20). Bored and lonely? Researcher says online game can help us socialize safely during the pandemic. CBC.

https://www.cbc.ca/radio/spark/bored-and-lonely-researcher-says-online-games-can-help-us-socialize-safely-during-the-pandemic-1.5806290

CBC News. (2020, May 10). U of S research finds video games can relieve stress, improve mental health. CBC. 

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/saskatoon/u-of-s-research-finds-video-games-can-relieve-stress-improve-mental-health-1.5563824

Oglethorpe, M. (2019, Aug 5). Playing video games: Unravelling some common myths. The 

Modern Parent.

https://themodernparent.net/playing-video-games-unravelling-some-common-myths//

Interactive Games & Entertainment Association. (2020). Digital Australia 2020 Report: The 

Power of Games. IGEA. 

https://igea.net/2019/07/digital-australia-2020-da20//.

Etchells, P. (2019, Apr 6). Five damaging myths about video games – Let’s shoot ‘em up. The

Guardian.
https://www.theguardian.com/games/2019/apr/06/five-damaging-myths-about-video-games-lets-shoot-em-up

Pryzbylski, A.K. & Weinstein, N. (2019). Violent video game engagement is not associated with 

adolescents’ aggressive behavior: Evidence from a registered report. Royal Society Open Science, 6, 1-16. 

https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/10.1098/rsos.171474

Kuhn, S., Kugler, D.T., Schmalen, K., Weichenberger, M., Witt, C., & Gallinat, J. (2019). Does

playing violent video games cause aggression? A longitudinal intervention study. Molecular Psychiatry, 24, 1220-1234. 

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41380-018-0031-7.pdf?origin=ppub

iD Tech. (2016, Jun 7). The educational benefits of Minecraft. iD Tech. 

https://www.idtech.com/blog/educational-benefits-minecraft

I was raised by two hardworking parents that did not come from wealthy backgrounds. Both of them have always been very caring, ethical, dedicated, but also very different from each other.

When people talk to my parents, they always tend to ask them how they managed to raise three responsible, hardworking and lovable humans. Some parents tend to think that if out of three kids, two actually become someone, they are in luck. After all, how can parents get 100% of it correctly, right? Well, for my parents, that was never a possibility. All three were blessed for success. 

Even though we know my parents made mistakes (of course, there is no perfect parenting), they were always humble enough to show us when they were wrong. They created a sacred environment at home where it was okay to get it wrong, as long as we were always honest and kept giving our best in everything we did. 

Their differences were the magic ingredients for who we became, and the secret to their strong partnership. My sister likes to compare them to the wind and the hurricane.

My DAD, the wind. 

Fast, ecologically correct, nothing lazy, and tremendously smart.

Responsible for teaching us from numbers chart to ethic, morals and the true values in life. For him, the other is always in first place. Great observer and a perfectionist.

This wind spreads examples around: examples of justice, wisdom and kindness.

My MOM, the hurricane.

Phenomenal, unique, radical and intense.

Responsible for the most magical moments in our lives: laughter until 4am, coffees with a special treat, and always showing us the power of faith. Capable of moving a mountain for her loved ones.

This hurricane always leaves a mark: marks of love, intuition, and of happiness.

“The wind feeds the hurricane. And the hurricane, makes the wind reach its peak.”

As this supernatural phenomenon, we were raised with our heads in the sky, but our feet on the ground. We were taught to dream, to believe that there is nothing that we couldn’t do. The impossible, was only a matter of perspective. But along with the big dreams, we learned the value of working hard and always, ALWAYS being grateful.

Nowadays, as a mother, I know that mistakes are inevitable. But, giving up is a choice. A choice that I will never make.  

How about you? Which main example from your parents got you where you are today?

Written by Beatriz Zanatelli

Mom & Co-Founder of Lightouch

Do you know how to define emotional intelligence? Don’t worry if you can’t–even well-known psychologists argue on the concept’s true definition. Some experts focus on how it is measured, others on its components, and some emphasize the importance of “the processing of emotional information” (Alegre, 2010). However, Daniel Goleman is considered to be the father of emotional intelligence (also referred to as EQ). He coined the term from Salovey and Mayer’s definition as “the ability to attend to, understand, and regulate emotions to guide thought and behaviour (1990). Why is there so much talk about emotional intelligence nowadays, and why is it so valuable? Or, as Goleman claims, even more important than IQ? Studies on adults’ EQ has shown that it can be a “predictor of success” not only academically and professionally but also socially and personally (Goleman 1995). All in all, high emotional intelligence can improve “physical and psychological health”, “mental ability and positive personality traits”, “adaptive coping styles and mental health” and subjective well-being (Alegre, 2010). Now that we know what it is and why it’s important, we want to help you in the how-to:

Foremost, it is important to note that emotional intelligence is a personality trait that is malleable. This means that it can be taught and strengthened with the influence of the environment. Do you know what is the most powerful influence of emotional intelligence in a child’s environment? Their parents! Although parents are the main source of emotional intelligence training for children, there is little research on how parenting styles’ affect emotional intelligence (Alegre, 2010). However, we can go through the little information that we do have. The first step is learning about our own emotional intelligence, which helps us to be better at teaching our children. Research shows that when parents participate in emotional training or “parental emotion-related practices” their children develop a higher emotional intelligence (Alegre, 2010). These “parental emotion-related practices” might sound daunting at first, yet it can be as simple as modeling the process of identifying your own emotions and talking about them. By doing this simple process together, your child can learn to understand, identify, and react to their own emotions as well (Denham & Grout, 1994; Denham, Mitchell-Copeland, Strandberg, Auerbach, & Blair, 1997).

The second step involves learning about parenting styles. Although there isn’t a lot of research on each specific parenting style, there is information on specific parental traits that can be helpful in developing your child’s EQ. One essential trait is responsiveness, which refers to a parent’s “warmth, nurturance and support” provided to their child. Responsiveness in parenting is linked to children having higher comprehension of their own emotions (Alegre, 2010). Research has shown that the level of parental responsiveness can lead to positive outcomes in children’s self-esteem, psychological well-being, and even the ability for self-regulation (Eiden, Edwards & Leonard, 2007). It is important to note that having warmth is not about constantly affirming your child’s behaviour. Having warmth as a parent means to be kind but firm while listening to your child, and remaining calm when your child is showing challenging behavior. In my experience as a preschool teacher, I’ve learned how important it is to stay calm with children, especially when they are not being calm. It might sound silly, but I have found that children are able to sense how adults are feeling and will feed off this energy. One of the most significant memories I have from working with kids is when a very upset child was crying and screaming, while at the same time wanting desperately to cling to my neck. I gently held her hands and spoke calmly, “I need to hear your words, I can’t understand your screams and cries” and because she was overwhelmed I said, “I can see you need a hug, let’s take a couple deep breaths and then hug”. After she took some deep breaths, she stopped screaming. I affirmed her emotion by telling her that it was okay to be upset and asked her calmly, “do you want to tell me what is bothering you?” As we talked through the events leading up to that moment, we figured out that she was frustrated. Frustrated is a really big word for a preschooler, but she was able to understand what it meant just from using it in this situation. This shows that we can use difficult and emotional situations as teachable moments for children. If we take the opportunity to talk through difficult emotions, we can teach them how to label them and strategies for how to deal with them.

The third step in developing emotional intelligence is learning about specific emotional learning training targeted to your child’s needs (Alegre, 2010). There are many socioemotional intervention programs used in schools which have shown positive effects (Alegre, 2010). However, in order to access these programs you must find teachers willing to practice and certificate in them. Other emotional learning might be trendy mindfulness strategies or educational games, yet it is difficult to find reliable evidence-based resources. Luckily, if you are reading this, then you are well on your way to accessing a type of EQ intervention program.

Lightouch aspires to be your centre of resources and community help in all things involving social and emotional learning. You can think of it as your one stop reference for emotional intelligence. The mission of Lightouch is to empower children and parents through helping them to build their emotional intelligence skills. Their educational app will help your child learn and practice skills that enrich their EQ, while providing a wealth of resources for general information, tips, and specific information about emotional intelligence in children.

Written by Meylin Hung Rodriguez
Edited by Serena So

References:

Alegre, A. (2010). Parenting Styles and Children’s Emotional Intelligence: What do We Know?. The Family Journal, 19(1), 56-62. doi: 10.1177/1066480710387486

Eiden, R. D., Edwards, E. P., & Leonard, K. E. (2007). A conceptual model for the development of externalizing behavior problems among kindergarten children of alcoholic families: Role of parenting and children’s self-regulation. Developmental Psychology, 43, 1187- 1201. 

Denham, S. A., & Grout, L. (1992). Mothers’ emotional expressive- ness and coping: Relations with preschoolers’ social-emotional competence. Genetic, Social, and General Psychology Monographs, 118, 73-101.

Denham, S. A., Mitchell-Copeland, J., Strandberg, K., Auerbach, S., & Blair, K. (1997). Parental contributions to preschoolers’ emotional competence: Direct and indirect effects. Motivation and Emotion, 21, 65-86. 

Goleman, D. (1995). Inteligencia emocional. (Emotional intelligence). Barcelona, Spain: Editorial Kairos. Salovey, P., & Mayer, J. D. (1990). Emotional intelligence. Imagination, Cognition, and Personality, 9, 185-211.